RISH'S BLOGS n WRITINGS, an intro:
Hello, I'm Rish writing this . . . and from way back in my high school days I began to hone my skills as a writer. Having a genius as an English teacher named Bob Whited, I learned more about writing in that class than any other class I've taken in my life. And, so, as the years have passed, I have penned---literally---thousands of pages of personal journal entries and many hundreds of pages of genealogical, biological, psychological, counseling and conversive writings in many aspects of human behavior . . . as well as numerous writings in poetry, lyric and stories and other miscellaneous writings; I have a PASSION for writing and the expressive powers thereof.
In this section called BLOGS AND WRITINGS, I will be compiling and sharing a number of these writings on various topics of human concern and interest. Some will be actual counseling statements/correspondence I have written to other individuals; however, "Names will be changed---as they say on all them-there detective shows---to protect the innocent . . . and, for some, some maybe not so innocent. =0)"
It has been my lot---gift, pleasure, opportunity (however you wish to phrase it---that from a very young age, people have seemed to seek my counsel and/or guidance; which seemed to fit the words of a blessing I received---as a very young man in my early twenties---from one who is called a "Patriarch" in my faith [I am a Mormon] when he told me that I would be a counselor. It surely has been so my entire life. It was mainly because of these two circumstances; 1. others looking to me for help and counsel; and 2. that blessing from my Patriarch, that I decided to get my Masters Degree in the field of Counseling.
So, it has been over the years that, as I have learned that "Counselors get a rare and unique view of the personal lives and trials of others." AND, I will say that I feel that, as a counselor, I would have to be very ignorant if I didn't take mental notes and learn from others' trials and mistakes. So, as the years have passed, I have tried to keep a collection of memoirs of these experiences, and some of them are shared herein; WHY? Because, there are lessons to be learned from other's life's experiences every day . . . if you just pay attention and look, be aware and apply what you have learned to your own life.
So, WHEN I get to the point of transferring and uploading some of these conversations . . . you will see them below; but, meanwhile . . . just know that they are coming.
Also, feel free to ask away . . . on this site at firstname.lastname@example.org, if you have any questions for me about certain things you are experiencing in your life. Heavenly Father has blessed me with an unusual understanding of the various problems and trials that come to the human family. Perhaps I can help you, too. If it's something about which you don't mind sharing with the world---perhaps there are those out there who are experiencing the same problems you are out there---then I will post your question/circumstance here in this section of RISH'S BLOGS n WRITINGS.
DECEMBER 1st, 2016;
My wife and I teach FREE ballroom dance classes in our area . . . hence, we have a dance group we call the DANCE'STERS . . . (about 231 strong, at present). Since I've spent a good portion of my life as a counselor, from time to time---in my weekly DANCE'STER EMAILER---I will include a writing about a counseling issue . . . just to help the group, should anyone need reading the words of the topic. Below is one of those writings;
CHRISTMAS TIME . . . VS . . . DEPRESSION:
So, I hope that your Christmas Season is a very special one. I was single for 5 years; I know that---if you let it---it can be a tough time, especially if you are all alone; but for some odd reason, I LOVED being ALONE, (most of the time). BUT for many, ALONE is horrible. Of course many say, "If we count our many blessings . . . and look all around us and really see . . . there is much for which to be excited and full of gratitude and positivity." BUT, as well, I have been a counselor for most of my days, so I know that some of you suffer from depression, and, sometimes, words like "gratitude" and "positivity" just don't fit how you feel; such words as these can even make you feel worse . . . and even angry.
I've written about the circumstance of depression before here in my weekly email because most people don't even approach the topic in their normal daily lives. Hence, how can you understand something that you never address? Depression is as real as a cold. It is a disease that brings down and tears apart. But, those of you who have bouts with this, please understand that there is a balance that can be achieved for you. When your body doesn't produce the right amount of such chemicals as dopamine, it is literally physically impossible to feel happiness; and millions don't understand this. But, if you see a doctor and are patient---because it takes a while to establish 1. the right medication; and 2. the right amount of that medication; and 3. for the right amount of time for that medication. Be patient and You WILL eventually find that feeling of happiness come into your life.
350 million people of all ages suffer from depression; and many of those believe that something is wrong with just them. But, as the numbers depict, it is a very common ailment that IS treatable. If you experience it, see a doctor. And, one more thing that is very important to understand . . . if the doctor you see has never suffered from depression him/herself, then they will not totally understand it as you do. Talk with them and be open with them; you need a doctor who has a compassionate and understanding disposition who will have empathy and really listen to what you have to say. If your doctor is not that type . . . then change doctors!! If you know other people who suffer from depression . . . ask them about their doctor. Do some research to find the doctor that is right for you . . . but DO FIND ONE. Why be sad every single day? Another symptom of depression is that you don't even feel like picking up a phone . . . or even moving, sometimes. But, it's that forced effort that can bring a change in your life. Like alcoholics---when they are trying to recover---find a sponsor . . . someone whom to call when the disease is at it's height . . . or you just need someone to whom to confide who knows about depression. Please, FIND for yourself such a person. You will be AMAZED what a therapy it can be just to have that in common, one with another.
The right doctor can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE in your world. And, when you find the right doctor . . . KEEP COMMUNICATING with that doctor (i.e., going back and changing your meds until you find the right med and balance of dosage) with the understanding that each medication will require about 2 weeks to begin to start working and then doing what it was intended to do. So, endure and be patient . . . Yes, it can be a time-consuming process . . . but a small price to pay for happiness, RIGHT? . . . when compared with the alternative? Once you and your doctor have established the right meds and dosage for you, then . . . THEN . . . you will be soooooo glad that you persisted; you WILL be happy again . . . and everything in your world will look brighter and better . . . even the bad things that happen will be received with more of an unconquerable spirit. Now . . . also be mindful of "reality" . . . sometimes glitches here and there appear; just---with your friend or doctor, figure it out and move on down the road.
One HUGE mistake people with depression make is thinking that something is ONLY wrong with them . . . and/or they are some sort of freak. Having depression is like someone needing glasses to read. Each of us have our own trials . . . for some it's needing glasses . . . for others, they need high blood pressure meds . . . for others, they need antacid help . . . and for others, they may need insulin . . . and, yes, for the depressed . . . it's meds for balance of the chemicals of the brain. We are all part of the human family . . . each dealing with our own glitches. So. RELAX, and see a doctor!!!
PARENTS WITH DEPRESSED CHILDREN:
You don't have any?!!! (You may think), but depression is hard to detect. TRUE STORY: Once upon a time I worked as a counselor in a high school in Utah. One day a female student came to talk to me. This young lady was beautiful . . . a cheerleader . . . at the top of her class in academics . . . and seemed to have EVERYTHING going for her. But, as we talked, I discovered in her words and non-verbals that there may be some underlying problems. So, I continued to ask questions and established that she had actually been suicidal . . . that she was suffering from deep depression and no one knew it. So, before I even let her leave my office, I was on the phone to her parents and telling them about their daughter and my visit . . . and I URGENTLY suggested to them that they IMMEDIATELY or ASAP take their daughter to a doctor because she was suffering from depression. That visit could very well have been a saving of a life. Her parents did as I suggested and probably will be thankful that they did . . . the rest of their lives.
So, parents . . . don't think that your children aren't depressed or that they don't suffer from that illness!! That can be one of the worst mistakes you can make. TALK to your children . . . and not just about their day and events . . . but TALK to them about how they are really getting along in life, do they feel happy? Are they plagued by any bad thoughts? Also, I suggest that you do a little reading yourself about depression before your talk to them . . . tell them about the disease and how it can make a person feel. Watch their body language . . . their facial expressions . . . their eye movements. You will be surprised what a person reveals as they talk about their lives. Sometimes a person has literally no control over their feelings. As I said above, if the body doesn't naturally produce enough of the chemicals that allow happiness . . . then that person physically---literally---cannot feel happiness.
Be prayerful and communicate with your children often. Don't let the daily busy activities stop you from REALLY watching your children . . . at the dinner table . . . as they play . . . wherever. If you see a sudden change in behavior, don't hesitate to inquire as to the cause. Most depressed people shrug it off to others . . . they don't want it to be known because they see it as something wrong with them as a person. So, you have to be persistent and develop a rapport with your child so that they will trust you enough to share their inner feelings. It's an investment of time that will pay off forever.
When someone would come into my office, I would do my best to have a silent prayer to my Heavenly Father to ask Him to help me know this, His child; as, I knew that He would show me how to help this person. This practice helped me to unlock some deep issues in people. Do the same . . . anytime you want to have a meaningful communication with a family member and/or friend . . . pray first. Only our Heavenly Father knows the heart and mind of others, you only know you, and what you can see . . . He can unlock all that is His will to do so . . . to your mind and heart.
So all . . . I DO care about you and your happiness . . . hence my sharing of these words. If I can be of any further assistance to any of you, feel free to click REPLY [or, in the case of this posting on my site . . . write to email@example.com] and I will help you on that road to joy . . . the best that I---and Heavenly Father---can. I've discovered in my life that it is easy to love people you don't even know . . . when you truly care for their welfare. But, as well, I've also discovered that there are some who just don't want help; and we have to live with that; but we can still pray for them.